As we approach Valentine’s Day, the day we traditionally celebrate love, some of us may be full of expectation…looking for love, or wanting to make a great impression on a first date whilst others are aiming to rekindle love in a long term relationship. Whatever your situation, here are some top tips…
This is key……especially at the start of a relationship. Whether it’s someone who has caught your eye or someone you’ve known a while – making an effort to look your best is more likely to get you noticed. Wearing colours which flatter your skin tone helps you look younger and draws people to look into your eyes. Generally if you have dark colouring – deeper colours are more likely to suit you. If you are fair avoid black and go for lighter colours. You will either suit bright or soft colours and warm or cool colours. We are all unique in how we look and not all colours suit us equally as well. Knowing which styles suit you and emphasise your body shape is good too. There are lots of ways to disguise some features. Using accessories that are in proportion to your body can also really glam up an outfit – that goes for men too ! No one has the perfect body – so it’s about making the most of the body you have. A colour and style consultation is really worth having and saves you money in the long-term by preventing expensive mistakes…
We live in a very visual world and our body language speaks volumes… We are constantly reading others and sending out signals to them subconsciously indicating if we like them or not. If you know you look good you will feel more confident. Statistics show that we make a decision about someone within 5 seconds…and you can only make a great first impression once. Confident people smile a lot. Smiling tells someone instantly you have noticed them and that you think they are OK. It can be an opening for a conversation. It reassures another person too, so they are more likely to approach you. Repeated glances show you have noticed someone and are probably interested in them. Having a more open body posture towards someone, sends out a positive message to them too and mirroring their posture happens naturally when people are in rapport. People like others who are like them. This is why rapport is so important. Smoothing your hair or touching them subtly on an arm or hand in a playful way can be encouraging.
When you meet for your date, whether it is your first or not, show them you are pleased to see them by smiling and looking happy, tell them they look good, compliments always reassure others. Flowers and chocolates do too. Avoid arriving late, moaning about your day or being distracted by your phone messages – that won’t make a good impression, people like positive people. Don’t use your phone in front of them. Be safe for sure…if you are meeting them for the first time and want to send a text to a friend half way through the evening letting them know all is ok, do so discretely from the ladies maybe.
Focus your attention on listening to them, ask questions and be genuinely interested in what they say, even if they are a long term partner and you’ve heard it all before. Reflect their words back to them occasionally so they know you have listened and smiling at them at a similar frequency to how often they smile at you is a great way to build rapport with them. Also talking at a similar speed and pitch and gesturing in a similar way to them builds rapport. Ideally the conversation should switch between you both so that no one person dominates and talks too much. Finding out about them and what you have in common is really important if you’re hoping to see them again. Be as relaxed and present as possible, excited is good too. Enjoy yourself and show them that you enjoy being with them if you want to get to that second date. Don’t give everything away – maintain some mystery to keep them interested…and wanting to see you again…So if this has been helpful, please let us know 🙂
By Katie James
Katie is an Image Consultant and Well-being Coach near Basingstoke, Hampshire
For more tips about colour, style, wardrobe, personal shopping as well as skin and make up ideas contact Katie James by clicking on the “Home” button